Est. whenever Suzy decided  ·  Population: monitored

Welcome to
Suzyville

A community of distinction, decorum, and comprehensive surveillance.
Governed with warmth, precision, and the full cooperation of residents
(whether they know it or not).

⚠  All activity within Suzyville is observed, logged, cross-referenced, and retained indefinitely.

Warden Suzy
LIVE FEED
Mrs Whitmore returning from approved walk (Route A)  ·  Mr Delgado has been observed near the side gate  ·  Unit 12 curtains drawn at 14:23 — noted  ·  Albie is on the premises  ·  Unauthorised humming detected, D Wing corridor — investigation ongoing  ·  Mr Pemberton's Tuesday visitor remains unidentified  ·  The communal piano has been retuned — Grade 5 applies  ·  Mrs Hendricks issued third and final hydrangea warning  ·  Albie has updated his clipboard  ·  All quiet in the rose garden (Albie checked at 09:15, 11:40, and 14:05)  · 

Your Management Team

Suzy, Matron of Suzyville

Suzy

Matron & Chief Executive of Everything

Suzy has governed Suzyville since its founding and intends to continue doing so indefinitely. She has an eye for curtain violations, an ear for unsanctioned noise, and a filing system that has never once failed her. Suzy does not have an open-door policy. All correspondence goes through Albie.

  • Founder & Perpetual Chair, Suzyville Management Authority
  • Author of The Code (87 pages, revised annually)
  • Undefeated in every formal review she has ever chaired
Albie, Chief Enforcer

Albie

Chief Enforcer & Keeper of Records

Albie joined Suzyville in circumstances that are not discussed. He is responsible for incident logging, guest vetting, gate supervision, and the clipboard. Albie is available at all hours. Residents are advised that this is not an invitation. He will find you if he needs you.

  • Sole custodian of the Incident Register
  • Personal record: 14 resident conversations in a single Tuesday
  • The only person with a key to the side gate — which is not an exit

✒️ A Message from the Matron

It has come to my attention that a number of residents have been referring to last Tuesday's gathering as a "party." It was not a party. It was a Supervised Social Occasion with light refreshments, and there is a meaningful difference. Albie has been asked to clarify this individually with those responsible.

On a more positive note, Mrs Whitmore continues to set an example to you all. Her curtains are beyond reproach and she has never, not once, used the side gate.

I expect the same standard from every resident. This is not a request.

— Suzy, Matron & Chief Executive of Everything

📋 Official Notices

  • 21 Feb Urgent

    Mrs Hendricks's hydrangeas have crossed the path boundary for the third time. This constitutes a formal infraction. Albie has the paperwork.

  • 19 Feb General

    Approved walking routes for March are now posted in the vestibule. Route C remains suspended indefinitely pending a review Suzy has declined to describe further.

  • 17 Feb General

    Residents are reminded that window treatments must be selected from the Approved Palette (Vol. II). The new edition is available from Albie's office during supervised hours.

  • 14 Feb Advisory

    Guest pre-approval requests submitted on Valentine's Day will be processed with the usual five (5) working days' notice requirement. Sentiment is not grounds for an exemption.

Full notice archive →

🗂 Incident Register

All incidents are logged, numbered, and cross-referenced. Residents involved have been notified.

Date Nature of Incident Status
19 Feb Unsanctioned humming, D Wing corridor Under Review
14 Feb Valentine's card sent without prior written approval Resolved
9 Feb Mr Delgado waved at a vehicle of unknown origin Noted
2 Feb Unit 7 curtains: unapproved pattern (bold chevrons) Resolved
28 Jan Laughter heard from Unit 4 at 22:47 — cause undetermined Noted
Full incident register (access restricted) →