Official Notice Board

UrgentRequires Immediate Attention

SVN-2026-047

21 Feb 2026

Active

Aggressive Plant Event (APE) — Mrs Hendricks's Hydrangeas, Unit 8 Border

The hydrangeas along the eastern border of Unit 8 have been formally classified as an Aggressive Plant Event (APE), Grade II under Appendix D, Clause 12(c) of The Code. They have exceeded their permitted growth zone by 34cm, obstructing pathway 4B and obscuring a notice board posting — a compounding violation. Mrs Hendricks has responded in writing. Albie describes the response as "creative." Monitoring continues at 45-minute intervals.

Required Action: Avoid pathway 4B. Do not interact with, photograph, or compliment the hydrangeas.

SVN-2026-044

18 Feb 2026

Active

Curtain of the Month Disqualification & Award Suspended Pending Conduct Review

The January Curtain of the Month award has been rescinded following a post-announcement compliance review revealing discrepancies dating to November. The certificate, which had been printed, was disposed of by Albie before Suzy had finished the sentence. The runner-up will not be announced until a wider conduct review is complete. No timeline can be given.

Required Action: Review The Code, Chapter 6 before the 1 March inspection. Suzy is watching. She always was.

AdvisoryAdvisories & Regulatory Reminders

SVN-2026-041

14 Feb 2026

Active

Romantic Correspondence — Mandatory Pre-Approval via Form 7B Required

All romantic correspondence within Suzyville requires Form 7B (Romantic Declaration, Written) at least 48 hours before delivery. This has been the case since Ordinance 7, 2023. Events this week suggest it is not sufficiently understood. Three incidents logged. Two resolved. One ongoing. Retroactive filing period has now closed.

Required Action: Obtain Form 7B from Albie. Submit to Albie. Await acknowledgement. Albie will not rush. Feelings are not an emergency.

SVN-2026-036

7 Feb 2026

Active

Walking Routes — Route C Suspension Ongoing; Route D Now Requires Pre-Booking

Route C remains suspended. This is the fourth advisory on the matter. Suzy has declined to explain why. Route D is available from 1 March via pre-booking with Albie (24 hours' notice; not Sundays, not first Wednesdays, not days Albie determines). Two residents have used Route C during the suspension. They are logged.

SVN-2026-029

28 Jan 2026

Active

Guest Registration — Mandatory Vetting Reminder; Mr Pemberton's Visitors

All visitors must be pre-registered via Form 3A at least 24 hours in advance. Unregistered visitors wait at the gate while Albie contacts the resident by internal memo. Mr Pemberton has received seven visitors in two weeks; three were pre-registered. Albie is conducting individual assessments of all seven. Mr Pemberton has been advised.

Required Action: Register guests using Form 3A. "Adequate" notice is determined by Albie.

GeneralGeneral Community Notices

SVN-2026-043

15 Feb 2026

Active

Communal Gramophone — Removed Pending Volume Inquiry

The communal gramophone has been removed after being operated at a volume three residents described as "quite nice." Approved volume levels are: Low, Off, and — by written application — Moderate. "Quite nice" sits between Low and Moderate and is therefore unlicensed. The gramophone is in Albie's custody. Duration of inquiry: undetermined.

SVN-2026-038

10 Feb 2026

Active

Mandatory Community Garden — Wednesday 26 February, 10:00–13:00

Attendance is required of all residents not currently holding an approved medical deferral. Three deferral applications received; two approved; one under review. Light refreshments provided. Albie will circulate with a clipboard. Attire requirements: no shorts, no novelty headwear. Mrs Daventry: the sombrero incident is in the record. It will remain there.

SVN-2026-031

2 Feb 2026

Active

Annual Resident Satisfaction Survey — 15 March; Not Anonymous

The survey will be conducted Saturday 15 March. Participation is mandatory. The survey is not anonymous — it never was. Results are discussed individually with each resident by Suzy. Critical feedback is discussed additionally between Suzy and Albie. The survey has 47 questions. Allow adequate time. Last year's response rate was 100%. This year's will also be 100%.

SVN-2026-022

20 Jan 2026

Active

Non-Biscuit Hours — Enforcement Update; Unit 11 (Third Infraction)

Non-biscuit hours (14:00–16:00 daily) remain in full effect. A biscuit was detected in Unit 11 on 19 February — the third biscuit infraction this calendar year at that unit. Albie has spoken to the resident. The conversation is described in the register as "extended." This has been in The Code since Vol. II. Please read The Code.

ArchiveClosed & Historical Notices

SVN-2026-039

14 Feb 2026

Resolved

Unauthorised Valentine's Card — Unit 3 to Unit 7 (Form 7B Not Submitted)

A Valentine's card was intercepted on 14 February without prior Form 7B. Albie reviewed the card during standard screening and noted it was, in his words, "adequate." Form 7B was submitted retroactively on 15 February, accepted 17 February, and the card was delivered that day. The recipient's response was verbal and occurred on an approved route. Albie was nearby.

SVN-2026-011

10 Jan 2026

Resolved

New Year Gathering — Retrospective Compliance Assessment, Unit 4

A gathering in Unit 4 on New Year's Eve produced three minor violations: noise, unlicensed volume, and an unregistered guest (Mr Fernsby from Unit 9, who lives 12 metres away). All three were logged. Suzy elected not to escalate, in recognition of the festive context. She has, however, noted it. She will continue to note it indefinitely.

SVN-2025-214

12 Dec 2025

Resolved

The Communal Umbrella Stand Incident (December)

The umbrella stand was removed in December following a dispute involving four residents, two umbrellas, one walking stick placed "just for a moment," and a heated exchange Albie documented across six pages. The stand has been returned. Umbrellas are labelled. The walking stick's owner has been reminded it is not an umbrella. All parties have signed a resolution document. It is in the register.