The Code

Suzyville is a community of distinction. Residents are expected to conduct themselves accordingly at all times, including when they believe no one is watching.

All activity within Suzyville is subject to monitoring, logging, and cross-referencing with prior incidents. The existence of a prior record does not preclude the creation of a new one.

Residents who believe they have not been observed should not allow this belief to affect their behaviour. It is almost certainly incorrect.

The word "surely" is not grounds for renegotiation. Residents are asked to stop using it in that context.

The side gate is not an exit. It has never been an exit. The key is held by Albie. This clause has appeared in every edition of The Code. It will continue to appear.

Attire must be appropriate to the time of day, season, and occasion. Where doubt exists, err on the side of formality. Suzy's assessment is final.

Shorts are not permitted in communal areas before 1 June or after 31 August. Residents are expected to monitor the calendar independently.

Novelty headwear requires advance written approval. No such approval has ever been granted at a mandatory community event.

Dressing gowns are not communal-area attire. Residents intercepted in a dressing gown will be escorted back to their unit by Albie. Albie will not make eye contact. It is not a kindness.

All window treatments visible from communal areas fall within the scope of this chapter. This includes curtains, blinds, shutters, nets, and any improvised covering management has not approved.

Curtains must be opened by 09:00 and may be drawn no earlier than 20:00 on weekdays or 21:00 on weekends. Exceptions require written request to Albie at least 48 hours in advance.

Three or more curtain irregularities in a calendar quarter constitute a Curtain Pattern, which is logged and reviewed by Suzy personally.

Monthly inspections are conducted on the first Saturday of each month. Attempting to improve curtains specifically for inspection and then reverting them is both noted and ineffective.

The Curtain of the Month may be recalled in cases of post-announcement compliance irregularity. The certificate is returned to Albie. It is not re-issued.

Suzyville does not discourage connection. Suzyville regulates it.

Romantic correspondence requires completion of Form 7B (Romantic Declaration, Written) no fewer than 48 hours prior to delivery. Form 7B is available from Albie.

Albie's review of Form 7B is not an editorial exercise. He is checking for compliance. He may nonetheless have opinions. They will not be shared unless directly relevant.

Disagreements between residents must not take place in communal areas. Both parties must submit separate written accounts to Albie within 24 hours. Albie will compare the accounts. Discrepancies will be noted.

Nicknaming management is not an offence under The Code. It simply becomes part of the record that informs all future interactions. That is all. That is enough.

Food and beverages may be consumed in communal areas during designated periods only. Residents should check the notice board before consuming anything in a communal space. Albie checks it more frequently.

Non-biscuit hours are 14:00–16:00 daily. Biscuits — any dry, flour-based, individually portioned sweet or savoury baked item — may not be consumed in communal areas, corridors, stairwells, or within six metres of a shared door during this period.

Distribution of food to other residents requires Form 12A (Communal Refreshment Proposal). This form has been approved four times in Suzyville's history. Albie approved three of them.

All guests must be pre-registered via Form 3A no fewer than 24 hours before arrival. Albie will acknowledge receipt. Acknowledgement is not approval. Approval follows separately.

Guests who arrive without registration wait at the main gate. Albie contacts the resident by internal memo. There is a bench. The bench is not particularly comfortable. This is intentional.

Any incident involving a guest is logged against the resident's file. Guests who cause incidents are added to a separate register. They are not told about this register.

Guests may not use the side gate. Guests may not ask about the side gate. Should a guest ask about the side gate, report this to Albie within one hour. It will be noted.